The Trolley Dodger

Home plate umpire hiding his face in shame. Photo: Jon SooHoo, Dodgers.

I caught only a smidgen of the double header today on TV — James Loney’s justified anger at a called strike 3 and subsequent ejection, and then a bit of Charlie Haeger pitching the next half-inning.

Malaise is apparent. The Dodgers are 8-12, tied for the worst record in baseball (apart from the 4-16 Orioles). Great pitching days seem unable to coincide with great hitting days, and vice versa. If they ever put them both together, watch out.

At this point last season, the Dodgers were 14-7, winding up 15-8 at the end of April, in the midst of their record 20-0 home start and blissfully unaware of the Manny news coming May 7th. Presently, we are losing players to injuries rather than suspensions, but the season is still young. ;)

8-12 is not a death sentence by any means, nor would 8-15 be if they lose out for April. It’s one of those things: rationally, I know everything will even out eventually, and this ugly month will be a distant memory; emotionally, the thumb gets twitchy on the remote.

One of the most polarizing Dodgers since Gary Sheffield has been traded to the Chicago White Sox for a couple of Players to Be Named Later (reportedly two minor league pitchers). The Juan Pierre Era in LA has come to a close.

The problem with Juan was pretty simple: despite constant early arrivals for practice, an inspirational work ethic, and a speedy set of legs, his offensive output and defensive liabilities made the amount of money the Dodgers were paying for him unfathomable.

With the arrival of Manny Ramirez, Juan was left out in the cold, and despite a stellar month and a half of substitution last season, he still wasn’t worth how much the Dodgers were paying.

You can be a totally nice guy, a team player, and a paragon of community involvement … and still be totally overpayed during a stretch of financial inflexibility.

So, what more can we say than thanks for the help and good luck?

Not much else.

Maybe Jason Repko will finally get another chance at being the Dodgers’ 4th outfielder. He has (along with a couple of other players) the skills to equal or surpass Juan Pierre’s contribution, at several million fewer dollars. Just keep him away from Rafael Furcal. ;)

Following up on the recent Steve Lopez post, “How to generate hits in these troubled times”, Lopez announced his tickets were going to be awarded to a local firefighter. Of course. The winning entry:

“Dear Manny,” wrote Richard MacPhee, “I am a firefighter for the USFS, I make $16 an hour. It’s hot, dirty, dangerous, with long hours. My body hurts all the time. It takes four years to make $170,000. My bonus, somebody telling me ‘Thanks for the hard work.’ You should try it some time.”

No offense to Mr. MacPhee, and thanks to him for his service, but I’ll bet Lopez makes quite a bit more than $16 an hour for doing less physically taxing labor than a member of the Dodger marketing department, much less Manny Ramirez, and whose greatest claim to fame is writing and selling somebody else’s story. As Jon Weisman pointed out,

Ramirez might well loaf from time to time, but overall his work ethic is pretty legendary. I’m not saying that to whitewash the mistakes he has made. But there is no shortage of stories about the effort he has put into the game. He did not float to the top of the baseball echelon. He’s no firefighter, but if Ramirez doesn’t work as hard as MacPhee, he still has worked plenty hard.

Barring some unlikely direct reply from Lopez, I’m letting this go for now — I’m looking forward to Game 1 tomorrow and would rather concentrate on the positives of this entire team and their amazing season. Something I wish Lopez had done himself.

1. Pick a topic that will cause controversy. Say, Manny Ramirez’s drug suspension.
2. Come up with a gimmick to bring in the links and hits. Say, “…I’m giving my World Series tickets this year to the person who writes my favorite 50-word sermon to Ramirez.”
3. Get Bill Plaschke to ghost-write your column for you.
4. Edit Bill’s first draft to increase the moral indignation and delete some of the carriage returns.
5. Publish column and watch the hits roll in.

I would expect more out of Steve Lopez. Unfortunately, he decided to take the easy way out. Loafing his way across the outfield, as it were.

Maybe it’s the vicodin talking, but this whole scheme strikes me as insincere. If you felt that bad about buying those tickets (and somehow calculating you were supporting Manny by doing so), how about donating those tainted tickets to be auctioned off for charity? You could even make it a steroid-awareness organization if you felt like making a real statement.

Think about how much of a bigger splash you could have made by doing things that way. You’d get all kinds of press online and in the real world. Plus you’d be making a difference about a cause that you apparently care a lot about. And getting even more of those precious hits and links.

Something to mull over in the next columnist meeting.

On Twitter:

@MANNYWOOD: THIS IS EMBARRASING! WHAT GOT INTO ANDY LAROCHE TODAY? THE WORST DAY OF THE YEAR FOR THE #DODGERS

@trolleydodger: Umm, no. The worst day of the year for the Dodgers was 5/7/09.