The Trolley Dodger

Congratulations to Landon Donovan, David Beckham, Robbie Keane, and the rest of the LA Galaxy, the 2011 champions of Major League Soccer!

There is a certain myth perpetrated about how “classy” the Yankee organization is. Derek Jeter is the poster child for this.

Of course, the organization tends to behave in the “Chandelier Galaxy” sense of the word, as evidenced in “New Stadium classy not flashy”:

[Hal] Steinbrenner said he doesn’t see the ballpark as too extravagant given the economic situation. He said the organization did its best to retain the tradition from the old stadium and integrate it with new amenities to enhance the fan experience.

“I don’t see it as ostentatious or flashy, I see it as classy,” Steinbrenner said.

Last week, there was a brief brouhaha after MLS commissioner Don Garber commented on empty seats at Yankee Stadium due to the economy and their outrageous prices. Randy Levine, Yankees President, went off on him:

“Don Garber discussing Yankee attendance must be a joke,” Levine said yesterday. “We draw more people in a year than his entire league does in a year. If he ever gets Major League Soccer into the same time zone as the Yankees, we might take him seriously.

“Hey Don, worry about Beckham, not the Yankees. Even he wants out of your league,” he said.

Humorous as the statement was, it doesn’t match up with the notion of the Yankees as big leaguers.

To go with the Classy Myth, there’s also the Yankee Mystique, which has to do with how much the club has won over the years. Their record speaks for itself.

The team has won 26 World Series, appearing in 39 of them, which “currently amounts to an average appearance every 2.7 seasons and a championship every 4.0 seasons.”

When you’re that good, when you “have an all-time regular season winning percentage of .567 (a 9472-7235 record), the best of any team in baseball,” you don’t need to act like an insecure asshole. There’s few things more pathetic than an insecure 800-pound gorilla.

To put it in terms New Yorkers will understand, it’s like the difference between a Mafia Don acting like a Mafia Don and not like a goombah pushing a guy in a bar parking lot. If somebody is beneath you, you don’t acknowledge them. They’re beneath you. If they’re insulting, you don’t care. It doesn’t matter.

In any case, Levine’s insecure jokes look even smaller today as the news comes out, “Yankees Slash the Price of Top Tickets”:

Twelve days after opening their new stadium, the Yankees on Tuesday bowed to the sour economy and the specter of empty seats by slashing in half some of their top-end, $2,500-a-game prices.

Going further, the team also announced it will provide significant numbers of complimentary seats to existing season-ticket holders in premium sections, including some of the critical, and very visible, real estate behind home plate.

Whoopsie. Guess all those empty seats looked pretty bad on TV.

Over all, the new policy represents a dramatic retreat from the team’s initial luxury-sales strategy for the new stadium, which was underlined in advertisements that crowed “Own the Greatness” and “Select the Greatest Seats in the World.”

It’s as if the Evil Empire actually still wants to have the class and mystique of the Old Republic. That way lies madness.

Be Darth Vader, or be Mace Windu. Either way, you’re a bad ass. But if you try to be both, you look like a whiny prick.

You know, like Anakin Skywalker.