The Trolley Dodger

A couple of years ago, when there was speculation that the Dodgers might look at free agent Barry Bonds to solve their anemic outfield power production, I wrote something to the effect that, “The day the Dodgers sign Barry Bonds is the day I stop being a Dodger fan.”

Fast forward to this morning, when I was anticipating a pleasurable write up of last night’s blogger get-together at Dodger Stadium, and here’s a news story out of left field: Manny Ramirez suspended 50 games.

I ran through the stages of grief pretty quick, not unlike Homer Simpson:

Dr. Hibbert: You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
Homer: No way! Because I’m not dying!
Dr. Hibbert: The second is anger.
Homer: Why you little–!
Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
Homer: What’s after fear?! What’s after fear?!
Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I’ll make it worth your while!
Dr. Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.
Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me!

So my first half hour went something like this:

1. Must be a joke/rumor/conspiracy.
2. That’s it, I’m done with baseball!
3. Christ, the Giants and Red Sox fans are going to be insufferable.
4. Okay, I’ll stop watching the team for 50 games…
5. That means we get a rested Manny sometime in July. Heh heh.

If the first reports are true (and as the MLB rules quoted indicate this is the case), then it wasn’t steroids, wasn’t HGH, wasn’t a stimulant, and wasn’t something along the lines of marijuana. What does that leave? A whole slew of prescription drugs that are in that gray area of being permissible, but only if you get an official exemption from MLB.

Considering Manny’s apparent lackadaisical attitude about everything except studying pitchers and hitting the ball, it isn’t out of the realm of possibility that he simply spaced on doing the paperwork.* But in any case, we’ll have to wait for all of the details to come out to make an informed judgment.

Anyhow, I still want to write up last night’s blogger night, which was a blast, as was witnessing the historical 13-0 moment. (I’ve been lucky enough to be at a number of those at Dodger Stadium over the last few years.) Having a chance to chat in person with the ever-expanding and intelligent cadre of Dodger bloggers, not to mention other august personages like Ken Levine and Tony Jackson, was a privilege.

And now, I am going to go get on my roof and summerize the swamp cooler. It’s going to be frickin’ hot today.

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* Not to fall back into stage one of grief, but I do think the timing of this is mighty suspicious, with Manny reportedly informed last night just after the record-setting win. To counter-balance that and move back into stage five, I imagine this makes him opting into that second year with the Dodgers much more likely — who else is going to take him?